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THE PLANET IS LITERALLY COOKING US ALIVE ✦ BIRD FLU IS KILLING PEOPLE AND COWS ARE THE VECTORS ✦ FLORIDA DEPUTY DUCT TAPES ANGRY SWAMP PUPPY ✦ INTEL IS A DUMPSTER FIRE IN A SILICON SUIT ✦ WNBA CHARTER FLIGHTS ARE A TURBULENT DISASTER ✦ JAPAN BEGS HONG KONG TO EAT GLOWING FISH ✦ CERN NERDS FINALLY CATCH THAT GHOST PARTICLE ✦ MARYLAND JUDGE SMACKS DOWN BOOK BANNING CLOWNS ✦ DIDDY IS BROKE AND HIS LAWYERS ARE BAILING ✦ SOTOMAYOR TELLS THE NINE TO UN-FUCK THE LAW ✦ ELON WANTS TO CATCH HIS GIANT METAL DILDO
ClimateGLOBAL WARMING/NOV 10 · 11:44 AM

THE PLANET IS LITERALLY COOKING US ALIVE

The Earth is officially entering its flop era and we are all just the garnish on a planetary rotisserie chicken.

OH LOOK 🌍 🍳 THE PLANET IS TURNING INTO A GIANT AIR FRYER 🍗 🥵 AND WE ARE ALL JUST THE NUGGETS 🐔 🍟 COPERNICUS NERDS 🤓 📊 JUST DROPPED THE NEWS THAT OCTOBER 2026 WAS THE HOTTEST OCTOBER EVER 🌡️ 🔥 AND 2026 IS VIRTUALY CERTAIN TO SMASH THAT 1.5C THRESHOLD 📉 💥 WE ARE LITERALLY BOILING IN OUR OWN JUICES 💦 🥘 WHILE THE FOSSIL FUEL BARONS 🛢️ 🎩 ARE BUSY COUNTING THEIR BLOOD MONEY 💰 🩸 IN THEIR AIR-CONDITIONED BUNKERS ❄️ 🏰 IT IS A THREE-MONTH STREAK OF ABSOLUTE MELTDOWN 🫠 🌋 EL NIÑO IS THROWING A RAVE 💃 🕺 IN THE PACIFIC 🌊 🌊 AND THE THERMOMETER IS SCREAMING 😱 📢 BUT SURE 🙄 💅 LET'S KEEP PRETENDING EVERYTHING IS FINE 🤡 🤡 WHILE THE ICE CAPS TURN INTO SLUSHIES 🍧 🧊 WE ARE SPEEDRUNNING THE APOCALYPSE 🏃 💨 AND NOBODY IS HITTING THE PAUSE BUTTON ⏸️ 🚫 THE EARTH IS DONE WITH OUR SHIT 🌍 🖕 AND HONESTLY 💅 💅 WE DESERVE THE SAUNA 🧖 🧖‍♀️

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